Perforated Lines (you can't resist 'em!)

 big wheels
It's a big new shiny toy!
-- Saturday, September 18, 1999 --



11:46 p.m. Wooee, baby. Woooah, Mamma! Oh. My. God. Cable.

This must be what people felt like the first time they saw cars. Gee. We could go places in this thing. Moves faster than 'ole Gloosticks over there. Hmmmm. Now I won't have to walk all the way down the road for a warm pail of something and all the way back up the hill with the cold empty tin ... really, the mind boggles.

Unfortunately, so does the mail servers and the Onelist daemons who've been on my case all day. Suffice it to say that at one point, even the screen on the monitor rebelled. Maybe it was my hot hubba hubba breath fogging it up as I hyperventilated at the incredible speed of my new connection -- or maybe it just got too excited, too. Little lines and rebellious squiggles all over the place, following the cursor around like snail trails ...

So much to absorb. I've had to switch from my old faithful Eudora because -- in the Microsoft mantra, now -- "it's not supported by the new protocols." So, there's a lot of backtracking and cut and pasting as I try to answer mail and not lose stuff. If I seem to have dropped off the radar, please email me again.

Meanwhile, my old address still works. It's just that I'm suddenly free of the poky old modem and it's snarly tsk-tsk as it endlessly cut me off just as I was trying to send an email or upload a meaty gif or read a page or two. It was a nice, faithful provider when there was nobody else, and I should be grateful. But I am gleefully going off in the fancy flashy fast car of the baddest boy on the block.

It's broadband, I think. It's on all the time. That's the hardest part to get used to -- all the time. Oh, and the newsgroups and the ftp stuff -- did I say this is fast? Suddenly, my uploads to the server are no more traumatic than saving to my hard drive, practically. Blip blip, blip -- and that's it. I used to try to bunch everything together and look at demanding sites well past midnight when the traffic was slower, but now I can ... I can ... it's such a new toy. I can do whatever I want.

How scary is that?

I remember when we first got cell phones and you could talk to people from your car. It was such a thrill. What did we do? We ordered pizza and beat it home! Or answer machines -- what did we do? We called home and left "hello, wonderful" messages for ourselves. The microwave? You can reheat coffee! Computers? You can play Solitaire.

No need to worry that technology is evil when it's in such capable hands. Oh, I can rule the world. This brave new world that has such PPL in it.



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