Thursday, July 27, 2000

10:27 p.m. If all goes according to plan tonight, I will be in bed in another half hour or so. Before midnight, for sure. It could happen. And yes, my eyes will pop open at 2 a.m. and I will be up until dawn, unless -- and here's my rationale: unless I really need the sleep. I might. We'll see.

Or, I could finish the tea on my mug warmer and get the mystical Second Wind. I'm sure to be sailing this weekend; I wonder if the Second Wind has anything to do with boats? Verily, I am afraid to ask. The answer is sure to be long-winded.

And I am dog-tired. Weak as a kitten. Not really. Just pretty tired after last night's festivities and the subsequent hours I've been spending reading online journals for my volunteer moment which I'm not supposed to talk about, and which, after a few glasses of wine last night -- I almost did talk about. Almost spilled those (and a few other) beans.

But -- I'm mature now. I almost never make the big mistakes. My days of apologizing the next day are almost behind me. Maybe. Or maybe not. I want to maintain my air of mystery and menace. Odd thing, secrets. Odder thing -- liquor.

11:42 p.m. Well, I scared myself with the image of myself staring wide-eyed at the ceiling at 2 a.m. and so I puttered around a little and here it is -- almost midnight already. All-righty. Now we're getting somewhere. The good news is that I'll probably get to bed at an almost normal hour; the bad news is that if I'm up before nine tomorrow morning, I'm going to feel obligated to turn on Regis and Kathie Lee and watch Kathie Lee become tearful ... and I'm going to feel like I've been eating icing.

I never should have started watching Survivor.

I really should have gone to summer camp. I'd have a lanyard to show for it.

12:17 a.m. And still I stay up. And still I remain at the machine. Now, I'm actually working. That lousy Second Wind must have entered my mind on little cat feet, blowing out the fog between my ears. Actually -- that last sentence proves that it didn't. I can still make a case for going to bed soon.

12:37 a.m. Ok -- I'm going to make a break for it. I've put down the convenient David Unlimited ballpoint pen and I've closed all the extra windows behind this entry that is unraveling faster than I can try to tie it up. I'm going to come up with some kind of clever way to type my way out of here and turn off the little desk lamps and then turn off the kitchen light and the light by the chair in the TV room and then I'll wait until my eyes adjust to the darkness and then walk up the stairs and wake up Igor from the couch where he is pre-sleeping and I will follow him down the hall and turn on the light over the bed and climb into my nest and open up my book and read for a few minutes, maybe longer.

If I read long enough, I will oversleep and miss Kathie Lee. And that, folks, is my secret for a happy and mentally healthy Friday.