-- Sunday, July 25, 1999 --

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10:05. When in doubt, bring out the puppies and the kittens.

This is another happiness test. (See previous entry.) If you were wearing electrodes and if your capulae were all wired up and functioning properly, a tiny node on the left prefrontal cortex of your brain should be firing rhythmically and getting all gooey with joy right about now.

See the cute little puppies? How do they make you feel?

Dr. Daniel Kahneman, co-editor of "Well-Being, Foundations of Hedonic Psychology," released this month by the Russell Sage Foundation, recently published a paper on whether people are happier in California or the Midwest. "We found not a particle of difference," the good doctor said. "But everyone ... thinks that people are happier in California."

I live in California. I think I'm happy, but how can I be sure?

Researchers also found that Americans, as a people, tend to be happier than Asians. "People in Japan report being less happy. They focus on their own shortcomings. Americans have bad points, but they don't tend to look at them too much."

It figures, perfectly. I have slacked off all day and I couldn't come up with anything to write about.

But I didn't worry. I didn't fret. I am an American. I am happy.

This is a test. This is only a test.

Had this been an actual experiment,

you would have been instructed to get up from your computer console -- do a little dance,

make a little tea --

sit down again.

You may resume your regular thought patterns now.

Oh joy! It's tomorrow!