11:19 a.m. A cautionary tale. This is your brain: (O). This is your brain on TV: (.) Today's New York Times, front page -- above the fold -- has a stern warning to parents from the American Academy of Pediatrics, no less. The message is simple, it is succinct, and it is, of course, downright stupid: Do not let your kids watch TV. No TV at all for tots under two. No unsupervised TV for the rest of 'em. OK? Get it?

Otherwise, your brain will rot. I know mine did.

Yesterday's exhibit, for example. I hang my empty head in profound and abject shame. The sheer weight of all those accumulated memories in the back of my head must have crushed and mushed stuff together so that Soupy became Pinky became that weird guy with the checkered past. And now I feel bad for what I said.

It seems that Pinky was a really nice guy, leaving behind quite a legacy and a family who loved him. So, maybe his handlers wouldn't let him touch a pen and paper. Maybe his people wouldn't let him answer his mail. I should fault him for that? I should not. I don't.

And yes, it was Soupy -- not Pinky -- who pulled the stunt with the little green pieces of paper, not in 1955 but in 1965, when I most certainly should have known better. And Soupy, nee Milton Supman, is still alive and he could probably beat me silly, if he so chose to take action.

But what kinds of names are these for grown men to have around impressionable young children: Soupy and Pinky? I mean, really.

So, possibly the pediatricians have a point. They do see an awful lot of manic behavior on their paper-padded tables, I suppose. You have to blame those bonks on the head and the general woop-woops on some stooge or another, so why not one named Soup?

However, I think the experts are wrong when they demand we ban the computer screen along with the TV. For just one example: it was through the computer, just now, that I was able to take a lovely walk down lanes formerly obscured by memory and far too many mornings on the cold lino with a bowl of limpid Cheerios. It is through the computer that I am able to set the record straight.

You can learn stuff, get in touch with old friends, make new buddies, color along with the Wink, and generally behave yourself on the computer. As long as you know how to clear the cache, you're going to be just fine, thank you very much. Plus, by wandering around in the land of the lost TV shows, I was able to find out that Our Gal Sal, a most beloved childhood figure whom you would never confuse with a guy, is, herself, appearing in person on the web and even writing a book!

She would love to hear from you. She says:

By the way, my birthday is on January 25th. I will be 76 years young. I am in the process of creating a biography of life and times on Delaware Valley Television and am seeking any photos, videos, memorabilia, anything regarding Popeye Theatre, Sally Starr, etc. Please send your scans letters objects, etc. to the PO BOX above in Atco.

By the way, to answer one question that completely knocked me off the chair, I have NEVER been a burlesque dancer or porno queen. But at my age, thank you for thinking along those lines. In the meantime, thank you so much for being so nice to me and may the good lord be blessing you and your family. Remember, I do love ya lots! Love, luck and lollipops, Bye for now.

SMOOCHEROONI... Sally Starr

I'm going to do it! I'm going to send a quick note to Sally and tell her how much I enjoyed her show. She'd better write back.