Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.

Plutarch, Lives, Cato

7:05 p.m. Welcome to the third of four installments of the Sundays before Christmas, also known as I made these stupid ornaments and I'm damn well going to talk about them. Went to a lot of trouble, so who can stop me? I'm the mother. We're going to enjoy this holiday if it's the Last Thing I Do.

Tonight I've lined up, for your viewing pleasure, the Three Wise Men. Now I've always thought of the Wise Men as also The Three Rich Men, so I've dressed them accordingly, with brocade and tulle and gold swords and silky headgear.

One is from wherever the fez is worn -- that's the plain Wise Guy on the far right. The one in the middle has a cutout from my bridesmaid's dress, two stuck together gold seals as a hat, and a cocktail spear as his weapon, which is tied on with classy gold cord. The Man on the left is a Hawaiian, with a big floral headpiece and more gold seals.

The Men acquired the wooden camels and the small guy on the donkey at a later date. They have always been good with acquisition. Think Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Ted Turner ... only wise.

They always come, as is tradition, positively burdened, laden, weighted down with gifts. There used to be a big pile of fancy wrapped Holly sugar cubes from Colorado, but they've disintegrated over the years, so now the gifts are somewhat more metaphorical, as befits my increasing sophistication.

Which brings me to the point of my exercise tonight, and if I'm adept, I may be able to give one of those metaphorical gifts to you. I would like to discuss another in the series of Great Questions that you may face in your life:

Have you ever been lucky enough to hear this? Doesn't it just make you scratch your head and wonder about yourself? If you're not rolling in dough by this point in your life, what are you doing wrong?

It gets worse if you happen to be a hard worker and a person who doesn't lie, cheat, or steal. Smart people usually don't have to bother -- lying is for cowards, cheating is for dummies, and stealing is obviously for shortsighted idiots.

Nope, if you're smart, you've figured out long ago that it's better to do things the right way, and if you're really really smart, you've probably already figured out countless ways to allow yourself to work harder and harder. Because that's where all the fun is.

So where is the money? Have you ever listened to a rich person hold court? Of course you have. You might work for one of them, for instance. Or your family might cater to the whims of one. Or you may find yourself, on many a splendiferous occasion, with your hat in hand trying to explain your latest project or scheme or invention to one of them.

If he is rich enough and you are poor enough, you will listen and listen and listen. He will tell you nothing. You will creep away and once again, you will scratch your head and wonder. Him/me. Rich/smart. I don't get it.

Well, I can't be sure about this, you understand, but I think you'll never be rich unless you make an effort to fall in love with money. Or, at the very least, make money your hobby.

Already I hear the whining. Beads are more fun. The history of the fruit fly is more fun. TV trivia of the '60s is way more fun. See, that's your problem right there: money is no fun. Spending money is fun. Working is fun.

Piling up the money qua money -- not so fun. It attracts men in suspenders. People with portfolios, Lord help us. Deal memos. Projections, additions, exemptions, subtractions, deductions, multiplication's, contributions ... yawza! Are you asleep yet?

After a few months on the job at my first real job, there was suddenly a threatened strike at the newspaper plant. I remember the managing editor leaning back in his chair and saying with extreme confidence that the union of reporters would never have a chance at winning any concessions, and so there would be no strike.

And you know why? He said something to the effect that, "You silly writers -- you work for pennies now because you love it. If somebody took those pennies away you'd still do the job -- for free. You can't help yourself and we know it. Give up now, while you're ahead and maybe you'll get a free turkey for Christmas."

Words to live by I think, as I post my latest (free) bit of writing here on the web.

Turkey is good.