1:13 a.m. Feeling a teeny bit snippy today. A little peckish. My skin is too tight for my body.

You wouldn't have wanted to be around me today. Nothing was going right, nothing at all. I even had to change my clothes first thing in the morning because the stripes on my shirt were getting on my nerves.

But, because I am a grown up, I gritted and sat down to work. Didn't look up for several hours and when it came time to save it, of course I lost it.

The answer machine was going crazy all day. I took a Pamprin and I walked up and down the stairs, up and down, up and down. Trying to stop eating everything that begins with the letter C. Or bread.

I didn't even get my Daily Enlightenment thingy.

And I could have used some calming thoughts.

Total eclipse of the full moon tonight.

That feels about right.

Of course, I wouldn't even get out of my TV chair and go up to the roof and watch it -- because I am in such a bad mood. My attention is too short. I thought I'd catch it on the news, and then I forgot to come back to the TV in time. Meanwhile, all my dwindling TV pleasures were reruns.

I've had the legendary touch of doom today. Plants wither and cats skulk away. Cream sauces curdle. If I'd gone up to take a picture, I surely would have dropped the camera off the roof.

I'm reading an interesting book called The Alphabet and the Goddess or The Goddess and the Alphabet. One or the other. You can bet I'm not going to get up and go upstairs and check the title. But the gist of it is that the very act of creating a linear alphabet and then writing words with those letters resulted in the overthrow of the gentle good-natured goddess cultures that had heretofore ruled the planet.

The bastards! Instead of multidimensional, layered thinking, which is more natural for women, we've been forced into the literal straitjacket of written communication. Wait your turn, let me finish, don't interrupt, first-things-first rules rules rules.

Here's what we need to do, my sisters. We must break the shackles that bind us and dance naked by the light of the full moon. I think we should create a PMS website and domain and get woman all around the world to coordinate their periods so that we can have one day each month to set the record straight, so to speak.

One day -- that's all we want. We gave you the calendar, the literature, the numbers. All we want is one day to puff up and eat some chocolate in peace. Is that so much to ask?

Grrrrrrrrr.