-- Tuesday, February 1, 2000 --

2:41 a.m. Yippie! I got out of the house today. I was sprung in the middle of the day, while the sun was still out ... and I came back with a reluctant camera full of images. I tricked some of them out, but I'm going to have to take it into the shop for a new power cord, maybe. Possibly.

It's something of a mystery. This camera takes great pictures, but it doesn't really respect the Macintosh operating system. Once I hook it up, I have to time the pushing of the button that turns it on to start the download. If I turn it on too soon or too late, nothing comes out of the camera. It reminds me of an old car that you have to baby and pump just so with the gas pedal and the clutch to get it to start.

It's not right. One bad day, one day when you don't feel like coddling -- your pictures are eaten and your car is stalled and rolling backwards into a ditch.

I hope this page is not too frou-frou, but February always does this to me. It's a big month for me. My birthday. Our anniversary. And of course, the holiday for a few of my favorite things: doilies, antimacassars, and red hots. I've even got an animation on my index page, and who knows what else is going to happen?

I'm probably going to have to apologize profusely and take it down, but for now ... two little hearts with legs are hugging each other. It's my theme and I'm sticking with it. And do I wish I'd never decided to change a whole bunch of stuff on my index page each month? You betcha. These months roll over one with amazing momentum.

The days are getting longer. A plane fell out of the sky yesterday and I've been avoiding the news as much as possible. When there's no hope, there's no reason to watch. There's no good in hearing about the last minutes in the air, or seeing the navy blue passports floating on the water's scummy surface. We torture ourselves with every possibility.

And yet.

It's a sin not to be joyful if there's any hope or breath left in you. It's a sin to bring your own flights of fancy crashing down. It's just nasty to linger in other people's misery like a dark vampire. Your time will come -- no need to rehearse.

So, meanwhile. Now that I've depressed myself ... I will attempt to wrench the conversation back to the bright light of these increasingly longer days. Each day -- another minute of sun. Plus, I'm a Democrat and I really think Gore is cute, and he's learning how to talk to the crowds.

Yes. The Macintosh. The Democrats. And in fact, today I laid eyes on an item of sculpture that makes a joyful cacophony when you shake it. It was at Burning Man. I took a picture.

There's nothing to be done. I shook it. It's February. This is my month.