-- Tuesday, February 8, 2000 --

9:50 p.m. Determined, as I am, to go to bed at a "decent" hour, I am taking a break from my indexing tasks to construct this fine piece of work for you here tonight. This edifice of bliss. I've got my picture, and for my next break, I will read the appropriate article. I'm boning up.

But first, some whipped cream. It's carbo-loading time.

12:21 a.m. Time certainly creeps up on a person. The article I saved is from January 29, and I wanted to talk about it before I forget. It's about a competition being held in London in August called the Mind Sports Olympiad, and one of the events is the Memoriad, in which people memorize a deck of cards in 60 seconds or 2,745 digits in 30 minutes. Nerdly stuff.

But you *do* know, don't you, that you can increase your brain muscle mass by exercising it, right? I'm not even making this up. I sort of figured this out on my own about fifteen years ago when I was trying to finish a novel in a couple of weeks, as usual.

I had a tiny space while the kids were on Christmas vacation and the world was snow-stunned and silenced. An opening between projects appeared and I knew I had a chance if I could get, say, 450 pages or so to my agent lickety-split.

I had the house to myself for a few days because Igor was on a business trip, so I laid out a thousand index cards, literally all over the floors and tables, and started picking them up in order and writing.

Each time I collapsed into bed for a couple hours of sleep, I could feel my brain actually throbbing. It was such an odd sensation -- not a headache at all -- just the same warm, righteous feeling you notice when any other muscle is getting a good workout. I made a mental note that this might be something to think about when I had the time.

Well. Now's the time.

The verdict is still out among scientists as to whether or not mental exercise reduces your chances for Alzheimer's disease, but some experts think it might. They've already discovered that we're always growing new brain cells, new webs of connections ... assuming we're doing some sort of active thinking.

I'd say that the very first rule of active thinking is to stop thinking that you can't think. You can. Really. It's just that everyone thinks differently, and if your brain doesn't work the way your fifth grade teacher said it should, that doesn't mean she was right and you are stupid.

It does mean, however, that you have to do a little more each day of what you are particularly good at. Some examples: keep a slew of dictionaries around and use them all the time. If they're handy, you'll get in the habit. Remember that you're only as smart as the words you know, so ... if you don't know a word -- look it up.

Circle it or highlight it and look it up the first time and then again the next time. Eventually you'll laugh at the words that once eluded you. Even if you use a spellchecker, you'll still have to look words up all the time. Just accept the time it takes, even if people are honking behind you and hemming and pawing the ground. Take the time and slowly, slowly you will learn more words.

If you read a book and don't want to stop, write the words in the front, in pencil. Or on a bookmark. It's an interesting record -- one day you'll wonder how you ever got along without knowing what a bildungsroman or a creel or a heliometer was. Make it a lifelong goal to not let a single word go by that you don't know.

Think about your deathbed scene: you're slipping away, drifting toward that white light, peaceful as you please ... when suddenly the night nurse says something about your pons Varolii and whoosh! You're back among the living. Alert. Interested all over again.

And, if you're interested in a subject, go deep, young man. Do it privately, on a whim and without a care about procedure. Learn geography once and for all. Arabic. Figure out who the hell Hegel was and why he's still being quoted.

Give up in despair and take a long break to berate yourself -- and then go right back to puttering with thought. It really works. Big beefy brains will be yours for just a little extra effort. You'll find your keys and glasses once you stop worrying and start using Post-its for the useless stuff. Write on your palm. Let your mind wander. Follow it. Kick silicon particulates in the face of any musclehead who dares stand in your way.

Well, maybe you shouldn't attempt that last maneuver. That wouldn't be very smart.