Friday, July 21, 2000

2:39 a.m. I have a special technique for writing these pieces if there's been nothing in my day that really belongs in this space. Rather than seem like the dullest person on the planet, I open up my special file of photographs that I've taken over the last few days or weeks and I find one that suits my mood, in some obscure way. Simple enough.

If something special has actually happened, I can't wait to get to the machine to tell you all about it, but most days do not have newsworthy moments. Today, for example, did not have any newsworthy moments. Don't get me wrong -- nobody short-circuited my clock and deprived me of any hours -- but it's not been a day with any big excitements.

And my little picture file is getting pretty depleted. Today's photo is from the boat show I went to almost exactly two months ago. I've also still got perfectly good photos from February's trip to Avalon and even some from the Christmas season. Hardly any freezer burn, really. Fresh as the day they were snapped.

So, for today I chose these two burly policemen. Although they are both big fellows, their shapes are very different -- the guy on the left is bulging out of his sleeves and the guy on the right is at the legal limits of his lower buttonholes. And how does this photo relate to my non-exciting day?

Well, we went to our favorite Korean restaurant and I had the soup that makes me cry. It's so red-hot with a peppery broth that I turn bright red and my nose runs and my eyes tear ... and I'd better not breathe funny when I'm sipping it ... or else.

I brought my camera and took a picture right before going into the big Hollywood Video store, but I can't hook the camera up tonight and download it. There were those long lancing lights in the sky -- those searchlights that announce a film opening -- and between the neon and the palm trees and the strobes, you'd think I could get a good shot, but you'd be wrong.

And then we watched Bowfinger and I had some Chai tea and some sour gummi bears. Very ascorbic.

I always have such high hopes for my day. I wake up in the morning and I feel like the guy on the left with a big long list of things to do, but I always end my day like the guy on the right, my arms hanging limply at my sides as I look at the list and wonder -- what was I thinking?

Today was no exception. I woke up, had a nice shower, and finished a whole lot of editing before my hair was dry. Worked nonstop until about 3 p.m. and then I began to long for donuts and a chance to get away for a few hours. I policed myself, however, and I stayed in the chair.

I am always fascinated by the amount of equipment that our modern policeman are required to wear or lug around on their belts. They have walkie-talkies, billy clubs, guns, flashlights, pens, notepads, pagers, bullets, and badges -- and that's just what you can see. Can you imagine all the stuff that must be in the trunk of their police car? Am I stalling here now, looking for the hidden button? You bet.

I desperately need a colorful coworker or a friendly pet or a toddler underfoot. Better subject matter.

I need a walkie-talkie ... or in my case, a sitty-witty. And a billy club to beat myself upside the head when I write things like that.

Or maybe I've already got what I need -- the world's most powerful equipment -- the mighty pen and the humble notepad. Now, if I just had a cool utility belt to hang them on ...