Monday, July 31, 2000

8:06 p.m. The last day of the month and the first day of the week. The topic for this month's On Display collaboration is, appropriately enough, "Restlessness." I've been thinking about this concept a lot lately, matter of fact.

Most obviously, I've been sneaking time away from my legit pursuits today to design and execute my August extravaganza here at the old website. Thirty, thirty-one days and I've just about had it with the colors and the ideas of the month just past and I'm more than ready for a change.

Restless? You could say so. In fact, my normal mental state is jumpy; wondering how I can get more things done in a collapsing time frame in an ever expanding universe of demands.

Just yesterday I found myself trying -- really trying -- to relax. I found myself on a boat with nothing to do, for example. Can't work on the computer, obviously. Can't sleep sitting up. Count birds? Sure. But then, what do I do with the information?

Note to self: consider scrimshaw.

At a restaurant table, suddenly alone, with nothing to read. Minutes tick away and there's only so many things you can do with crumbs. Drink a little wine, dip a little bread in a little olive oil and chew, ever. So. Slowly. Drizzle oil on cloth.

Note to self: consider outsider art.

While waiting tonight for Igor to come home from a really long day, I've been bouncing from thing to thing, trying to keep busy but not get too busy so that I can break away and have dinner. Concentration becomes harder and harder the more plates I've got spinning on the long poles.

My dream is to be able to knit. So far, I've not managed, although I have some yarn and some knitting books. I'm left-handed and nervous. Very nervous. Everything I've tried to "knit" looks like an hourglass -- it starts out ok-enough, becomes tighter and tighter until I notice that it's too tight, and then it loosens up again.

I have, however, made the nicest collection of tight round balls of yarn. Very tight. You can bounce them off the walls. Ditto my rubber-band balls.

It's also appropriate, when writing on a topic such as this, to jump from idea to aimless thought and then back to the TV, spin through the dial, notice that the Republican National Convention is on, and run screaming from the room.

Note to self: consider a vacation.

(Anywhere but Philadelphia.)