Tuesday, December 5, 2000

 

7:22 p.m. I'm still poking around in various piles and steaming heaps, looking for tidbits to chew on in this election debacle. Call me obsessed -- go ahead -- I can take it. My floor has never been cleaner, however, because I've been using the nervous energy I accumulate listening to the legal arguments to madly scrub the tile and the wood and the carpets.

Tonight I found an article by Dan Kennedy in the Boston Phoenix that I think almost perfectly reinforces my idea of the exit poll as smoking gun. See? See? Not so crazy after all, am I? Hahah. Now, as to how all those ballots got "double-punched" in the first place, well.

It's not that I'm following this thing totally and mercilessly. Some days, days like yesterday, I back off a little in the face of blistering Republican glee. Have you noticed how many of the Republican pundants smirk sideways? Plus, I've seen my lifetime share of bow ties, I can tell you that. And eye shadow (on that white-haired lead Bush lawyer. I swear he wears eye shadow). No, I'm not obsessed. Just attentive. Extremely attentive.

Today, while looking for something else (honest) I found a site that matches my own mood pretty closely: conspire.com. It's actually a very nice, very sensible site. Spent some quality time there between scrubbing and listening to the arguments before Judge Nikki Clark. There's this quiet little part of the case that may, in fact, throw everything else into turmoil.

Such fun. Sort of like Iron Chef and Battlebots and Jerry Springer and yes, the WWF all rolled into one big messy all-day thrill. A body need never worry about little old mundane household matters ever again -- there's the big issue of Democracy and the Disenfranchised to deal with. It's Ballotbots, of course.

Also, and I'll go on record here -- I just don't see George W. taking the oath. I don't see the whole thing moving forward, no matter how many flags they wave and cabinets they build. Instead, I see poor Al Gore taking the oath and some of the Republicans actually and literally turning their backs on him. That's what I see.

So, as my mother says, we'll see.

1:45 a.m. On a different note, I happily watched the last segment of the Dune series and I can report that they spent copious amounts of money on costumes and much less than they should have on hair stylists. Production people should remember: It's always about the hair.

Hair should seem thick and sort of curvy, as if it's strong and dependable. It should never seem too thin or limp -- that's why we have hair extensions. Whole careers rise and fall on hair. People have come back to Felicity, now that her hair is growing in, and much of Buffy's success is hair-apparent.

Sadly, George W. has better hair than Al Gore, but then, Tipper Gore has better hair than Laura Bush. It's a draw with the vice-presidential women, with the slight edge going to Hadassah for style, of course.

And may I say that if you're writing at 2-ish in the morning and you're trying to round out your little essay so that you don't seem rambling and/or unhinged, it's never a good idea to go off on a personal hair tangent. Thair's no real future in hair discussions. For every Farrah, there's a McBeal.

On the other hand, the woman I'm most fascinated by these days, Ann Colter, had, in fact, curled her hair for tonight's appearance on Geraldo. She's the meanest woman, by far, I've ever seen on TV. She's also one of the thinnest. And now that she's curling her long blond hair, she's just plain formidable.

It's always about the hair. I don't make the rules. I just tell you what I see.