Saturday, February 10, 2001

 

1:04 p.m. I'm still happy as all get-out that I've been to the dentist and survived. No doubt about that. Happy happy happy. And I'm grateful to be alive and I am, really! grateful. I am.

But -- not to complain or anything ... but, there's a little "discomfort." Sort of a swollen gland, hurt around the area, but what else could I expect?

And so I might have tossed and turned a lot last night, but I was being vigilant about the pain and swelling, rather than just fussing about pain. I'm no big fan of pain, but I understand and respect it. Oh, I surely do.

Why does pain make us feel so alone? I have a feeling that's one of the main purposes and benefits of it. We're surely, really alone in the big universe, after all ... we all go down that lonesome, dark road alone. Pain reminds us. Pain is so incredibly individual.

And yet, I always feel a part of the bigger picture when I'm in pain. People have had toothache before me. Other women have been in labor. We all stub our toes on stray piles of books, darn near knocking the thing off in the dark, I tell you.

The throb is the beat, beat, beat of the human condition ... humble condition.

10:57 p.m. And then something wonderful happens! I was feeling somewhat low this afternoon, swigging back the pain killers and keeping my chin up and my mouth closed and look what came to the door!

I have to go on record and say that I have the most perfect son a mother could ever have. The smartest, kindest, most wonderful kid ... and he knows things.

Ah! The joy and the beauty!

I am a lucky, lucky person.