Monday, February 26, 2001

 

11:55 p.m. Just when I thought I'd run out of suitable photos to include and, I hope, enhance my daily permutation, I discovered one I took a few weeks ago, but haven't used yet.

What a fine time to find something new and unopened up and out of the way on the shelf!

I took this picture when I was wandering the aisles at one of our local Savon drug stores, waiting for my prescription to be filled. They always tell you that it will take ten minutes, which is not enough time to leave the store, really. Not if you're the type who doesn't like to keep other people waiting.

So, ten minutes it is, more or less, and since Savon is also a sort of general store or even a little bit of an old-time five-and-dime, there's always something new and exciting for sale. There's a Billy Bass that's just the skeleton, for instance. Sings "Dem Bones" or who knows what? I didn't push the button.

There are the tabloids up front, of course. They're always good for several quality minutes. Which famous face has been pulled like Silly Putty across several column inches? How high will the teetering impossible shoes made only of straps and soles and cherry toes tower? Which celebs are smoking and stomping away from the camera in baggy seclusion?

Next, it's time to smell the shampoo and to test the hand lotion. Look in on the school supplies, the baby supplies, the pet supplies. Which is where I saw these boxes of pigs ears, ten big ones to a customer. That's right: eeeewwwwwww. They are being sold as chew toys for your doggie, if you can imagine that.

I can't. It would make me rethink the whole dog-eat-dog thing I had going in my domestic empire, if you ask me. I just wouldn't want my pet developing a taste for ears and I wouldn't like to see half-chewed ears lying around on the oatmeal Berber.

One of these days, one of these things is going to be the thing that pushes me over the line, I tell you. One of these days I'm going to order a hot ham and cheese on rye and I'm going to see those ears and I'm not going to be able to take a bite.

Still, I did have sausage for dinner this evening, but it was all ground up, you know? And it was from the health-food store, where they only use gently gathered ingredients, lovingly harvested raw materials, and only the freshest mountain spring water.

No hacked-off ears, I'm sure.

But it was delicious, and yes, I sort of made a pig of myself.