Friday, June 16, 2000

12:48 a.m. Well, I just can't embarrass my kids by writing about them -- and I won't -- but that doesn't stop me from thinking about them all the time. All the time. Dreaming about them, frozen as they often are, in certain perfect moments.

For each child, it's a different moment, a different time when the golden light dulled as it bounced off their smile.

I can only say that those years just slip away so quickly as they tadpole-vault right out of the picture and into their own scrapbooks and albums. They have no vivid memories of me back then -- I was just there, somehow ... but those times are here with me now, permanently watermarked in my thoughts.

My little boy turned 30 today, and he's still my little boy.

He hasn't changed a bit. He was so muscular and strong as a baby that he was able to roll over in the hospital when I was changing him into his coming-home outfit. He climbed out of his crib at a shockingly early age.

Such a nice boy. Such a lovely boy.

But -- ok, I'll stop. He'll be all embarrassed and I'll be in terrible trouble and we don't want that. Suffice it to say that he's a credit to this race and I've done my earthly duty twofold in bringing such children here to live.

I will close my little birthday tribute with another photo -- one of my personal favorites. It shows just that touch of sunshine on the nose and cheeks from a day at the pool and there is that luscious plum that he's just taken a bite of. He is showing off his t-shirt.

Since he rarely stands still, five minutes after this photo was taken he was wrangling on the floor with his sister, locked in one of their patented Twister death-grips that we almost needed a firehose to break up. And then they would go off and conspire in secret whispers and then engage in another death-grip, with lots of screaming.

Ok. No more kiddie talk. Except to say that 30 is a child, a mere babe in my eyes. It's all in the perspective.

Here are some hints for life: keep moving, eat those plums when you can get them, and smile. Always, always, smile.

Your momma loves you.