Tuesday, August 8, 2000

 

2:02 a.m. Today I have been ridiculously edgy and fussy and irritable and I even woke up with a really bad nightmare -- it was that old lions and tigers are trying to break through the screen door and get into my house one. Lions loose in the street, children in the house screaming. Trying to get the door closed as that big paw comes round the edge ...

And I noticed an interesting phenomenon. Whenever I'm feeling bad or out of sorts, I look for something to blame: my diet, my hormones, the weather. If I'm feeling fine and dandy, on the other hand, I take full credit for it -- as if the character who calls herself "I" is only activated when everything's fine.

I really must stock up on sorts, so that I can stop running out of them. They seem to be vastly important and they seem to be in short supply.

Perhaps I was too hasty and harsh yesterday when I dismissed the entire Democratic party ticket now that Joe Lieberman is the vice-presidential candidate. Tonight's newscasts were very uplifting and feel-good. It's blonde wives vs. brunette wives.

Actually, all the real political action seems to be taking place in the Reform party closed-door meetings, where people were on the verge of actual knockdown fisticuffs. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, the Korean merchants have finally paid off all the debts and loans and insurance payments that they incurred during the LA riots of a few years back. Just in time! Their stores are near enough to the Staples center and to the downtown gathering areas where the people who call themselves anarchists are planning to demonstrate. Stay tuned.

Speaking of which, we finally called in the TV repairmen and they finally came by today to take our broken old Sony into the shop for diagnosis. In fact, I just checked back in my archives here (by using the handy search feature that you can find on the bottom of each page) -- and I was shocked! Shocked, I tell you, to learn that we broke the thing almost exactly a year ago.

It was on August 14, 1999, and I could have sworn that it was in the middle of the winter. Time really flies when you have little or no money for the big picture. One whole year, gone by that fast! And let me tell you, the TV broke in a twinkling -- we were merely trying to turn it around and we must have jiggled something loose inside so that the picture turned into a very dark red and stayed that way.

This is only the second time the big Sony has gone kaput since we bought it in 1989. I remember when we first got it and set it up and it felt like I was living in a movie theater -- the thing seemed that big. I stayed up for several nights in a row, totally affixed to the thing.

And then a little later, I saw the aftermath of the big California earthquake and I looked at people standing around in summer clothing in the wrong season and I made up my mind that I, too, would one day live where it's summer all the time. And I have and I do.

And I would have told you back then that if I could move to California, I would be happy all the time -- I swear it. No more seasonal depression and no more chilled to the bone. Warm and happy as a June bug: that would be me.

And now I'm here. I still get fussy.

And lately I've been thinking: when I'm really thin and svelte -- that's when I'm really going to be happy. I will dance to the closet and choose an outfit and yes, I will smile all the day away.

That's the ticket. You can call me Al.