Sunday, September 10, 2000

 

12:30 a.m. Another busy day ... walking in the bright sunshine ... local street faire on the main street in town ... a few open houses to check out before they shut down for the day ...

... and I'm just plain exhausted.

Watched the Emmys. Still tired.

I seem to be tired of everything, suddenly. I'm seriously considering taking a break from the internet, a break from my daily routine, a break from everything that I can get away from, until my enthusiasms come back.

Enthusiasm is my most precious resource. Right now, it's gone missing, or maybe I'm just really tired from a set of stressful weeks and maybe I'm fearful because I know the week coming up isn't going to be too much different.

I have a sneaky feeling that most of my malaise is a result of letting my creative work slide to the back burner again while I take care of other things. Important things, worthwhile things, but not my things.

So -- I'm going to either try to skim along, not worrying about how little substance I'm able to post in these entries, or I'm going to take a break entirely. I don't know yet which it's going to be.

One way or the other, since I'm a reporter at heart, I will look into my heart and report what I find there. I'm going to not make any decisions tonight, in the dark. I'll wait until morning and I'm going to try to look at things clearly, in the bright light of day, and figure out what I should do next.

Maybe if I leave the door ajar, my enthusiasm will creep back into my life, quietly and with a minimum of fuss. Maybe I should lay out some nice warm milk and cookies. That's always worked in the past.

Otherwise, we go spelunking.