Wednesday, February 23, 2001

 

8:07 p.m. I'm trying to be a positive role model for anyone who has stayed away from the dentist for a long time. I'd like to tell you that it's not so bad, after all. -- Just get in there and open wide.

That's what I'd like to say, but the reality is a little more twitchy. This morning's session wasn't a basic walk in the park, what with -- no -- I won't go into any details. Instead, I'll tell you that the recovery time is getting shorter and shorter and the really great news today is that they let me sign up for a credit plan so that my future in choppers is looking rosy.

So, instead of the personal, I'd like to make a few points on the general ... on the insidious power of the x-ray to change men's minds and unduly influence people. I'm not so sure it's a good thing, and I'm not even talking about the fact that anything that requires lead protective gear can't be all that beneficent.

It's just that I've always imagined things to be a certain way. In my imagination, the blood bubbles along the wide tubular canals with packets of sugar bobbing in the stream, baggies of fat for fuel, and the occasional salt shards for peak performance. It's a happy, fun place: warm and friendly and full of excitement.

Every once in a while a group of invaders might try to breach the defenses, but the good white cells smother them in foamy waves and I remain blissfully unaware of all this, except for the occasional mucus and spew.

Until you see your own x-ray, of course. The technician can point to a dark spot (tap tap tap) and condemn you to a new reality. Your own body has turned on you and you believe the negative proof because it's hanging there on the lightbox, stuck under a shiny metal clip. And you even paid for it.

I can't get that picture of the tooth infection out of mind, I tell you, and it's hampering my progress to self-heal the area with visions of a pink and rosy miniature Venice, complete with singing gondolier men. With their muscled backs rippling under the strain of rowing the proteins up and down the veins all day.

A body that does my bidding ... instead I have a turncoat tooth. Oh, the indignity.

Anyway, today I made a nice impression and I don't have to go back until March the 12th. How wonderful is that? Plus I have a dandy rinse to use day and night and a $10 discount coupon for a Sonicare machine. Soon, I won't need a nightlight; my teeth will be so wonderful they will glow in the dark.

And aren't I glad I saved the pretty picture of the firemen? Isn't this a pretty street to live on? Makes you smile, I tell you. Makes you smile a big ole healthy toothy grin.